1 00:00:32,331 --> 00:00:36,267 In the year 3535 2 00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:40,600 Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies 3 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:43,800 Everything you think, do and say 4 00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:47,936 Is in the pill you took today 5 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:51,744 In the year 4545 6 00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:55,718 Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes 7 00:00:55,821 --> 00:00:59,689 You won't find a thing to chew 8 00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:03,319 Nobody's gonna look at you 9 00:01:03,429 --> 00:01:07,331 In the year 5555 10 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:11,392 Your arms are hanging limp at your sides 11 00:01:11,503 --> 00:01:14,836 Your legs got nothing to do 12 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:18,933 Some machine's doing that for you 13 00:01:19,044 --> 00:01:22,810 In the year 6565 14 00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:26,407 Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife 15 00:01:26,518 --> 00:01:30,648 You'll pick your son, pick your daughter, too 16 00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:37,423 From the bottom of a long glass tube, whoa-oh 17 00:01:42,234 --> 00:01:45,965 In the year 7510 18 00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:50,030 If God's a-coming He ought to make it by then 19 00:01:50,142 --> 00:01:53,942 Maybe he'll look around himself and say 20 00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:57,743 Guess it's time for the Judgment Day 21 00:01:57,850 --> 00:02:01,616 In the year 8510 22 00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:04,881 God is gonna shake his mighty head 23 00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:09,087 He'll either say, '"I'm pleased where man has been '" 24 00:02:09,194 --> 00:02:15,861 Or tear it down and start again, whoa-oh 25 00:02:17,202 --> 00:02:20,865 In the year 9595 26 00:02:20,973 --> 00:02:24,739 I'm kind of wondering if man is gonna be alive 27 00:02:24,843 --> 00:02:28,802 He's taken everything this old Earth can give 28 00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:33,908 And he ain't put back nothing, whoa-oh 29 00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:37,147 Now it's been 10,000 years 30 00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:40,419 Man has cried a billion tears 31 00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:43,290 For what he never knew 32 00:02:43,395 --> 00:02:45,590 Now man's reign is through 33 00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:46,664 Benjamin. 34 00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:49,128 What are you doing? We're going to be late. 35 00:02:49,735 --> 00:02:51,293 - Are you excited? - Yeah. 36 00:02:52,437 --> 00:02:53,631 And guess what? 37 00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:57,140 I heated up the hot water bottle so you can sit on it while we drive. 38 00:02:58,944 --> 00:03:03,005 In the year 2525 39 00:03:03,115 --> 00:03:06,812 If man is still alive 40 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:13,586 If woman can survive they may find 41 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:27,770 Benjy, I'm so glad you signed up for this. 42 00:03:28,273 --> 00:03:30,833 I think this is gonna be a really neat opportunity for you. 43 00:03:37,683 --> 00:03:40,379 - Hey. You Benjamin? - Yeah. 44 00:03:40,485 --> 00:03:43,648 I'm Mr. Keefe, the homeschool co-op advisor this year, 45 00:03:43,755 --> 00:03:47,748 but you can call me Todd, or some people just like to call me Keefe. 46 00:03:47,859 --> 00:03:52,489 I think you're really gonna enjoy the Cletus Festival this year. 47 00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:55,589 It's the best writers' camp in the state. 48 00:03:56,668 --> 00:04:01,264 Keefe, can you tell me how much money he's gonna need for two days? 49 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,530 You think 4 bucks would be enough? 50 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:09,139 - Uh... I'd say more like 40, maybe - Really? 51 00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:19,212 Well, we better hit the road. Got a big day tomorrow. 52 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:20,325 Be safe. 53 00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:25,029 Hey, Benjy. 54 00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:29,362 Remember who you are and what you stand for. 55 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:33,997 I love you forever and ever. 56 00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:47,411 Good morning, homeschoolers 57 00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:51,149 Is everybody excited for Cletus Fest or what? 58 00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:56,194 Yeah. 59 00:04:57,095 --> 00:05:01,327 We will be stopping for lunch at the Kozy Cafe in Echo 60 00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,131 Some of you can afford to eat there, 61 00:05:06,571 --> 00:05:10,940 but those who can't will just eat the food they brought from home 62 00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:14,069 Are there any questions? 63 00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:25,485 Whether you like it or not, when you get overseas, 64 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,717 - especially to Europe, I think... - Right. 65 00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:30,019 - It's different. - It's totally different. 66 00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,289 And you're completely infused with another energy, 67 00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:34,490 whether you open yourself up to it or not. 68 00:05:34,599 --> 00:05:37,762 - So, I found it really, really inspiring. - Hey, Benjamin. 69 00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:39,894 Come here, I want you to meet someone. 70 00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:46,770 Benjamin, I'd like you to meet Tabatha Jenkins. 71 00:05:47,045 --> 00:05:49,809 She's new to the co-op as well. Kind of. 72 00:05:51,116 --> 00:05:55,553 She spent all last year as a foreign exchange student out in Europe. 73 00:05:56,154 --> 00:05:58,179 Cool. Where did you go? 74 00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,257 Brussels. 75 00:06:00,492 --> 00:06:05,520 Benjamin is from Saltair, and he likes to write sci-fi stories. 76 00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:16,237 Keefe is so dang awesome. 77 00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:17,797 Yeah, he seems pretty cool. 78 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,602 I write French mysteries, you know. 79 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:23,170 How long you been doing that? 80 00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:27,114 Mainly the last six months. I write about a stable hand named Pierre. 81 00:06:30,422 --> 00:06:32,287 Can I borrow some money to buy some tampons? 82 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,350 All my cash is still in euros and I haven't had time to change it over yet. 83 00:06:40,699 --> 00:06:41,996 What? Yeah, sure. 84 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,202 Thanks. I owe you big time. 85 00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:50,074 Don't worry about it. 86 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:12,930 Sorry, they didn't have any, so I just bought some treats for me and Lonnie. 87 00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:15,391 Hey, can we come sit by you? 88 00:07:16,201 --> 00:07:19,295 Hey, Lonnie, bring our stuff. Let's sit over here. 89 00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:32,547 Benjamin, this is Lonnie Donaho. 90 00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:35,142 - Hi. - Hi. Nice to meet you. 91 00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:39,053 He has his own video production company, Donaho Studios. 92 00:07:39,157 --> 00:07:42,320 Since I've been away, he's been shooting my work on weekends. 93 00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:45,590 I sent him my latest installments via e-mail. 94 00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:49,963 It's been an amazing experience. 95 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:52,032 How many films have you made? 96 00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:54,435 Mmm. Eighty-three. 97 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,771 But some are just trailers. 98 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,241 Dang. That's a lot. 99 00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:01,309 Do you produce only Tabatha's work? 100 00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:04,780 No. I do all kind of movies. 101 00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:11,612 Horse movies, romance, soaps, fantasies... 102 00:08:11,723 --> 00:08:15,682 Hey, Lonnie, can you squirt me some of that lotion we just bought? 103 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:26,801 Will you give me a hand massage? 104 00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:30,864 Yeah. 105 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,201 Yeah, I can do that. 106 00:09:33,538 --> 00:09:36,701 You guys are so lucky you get to be roommates. 107 00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:38,499 Mine just wants to eat. 108 00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:42,645 Hey. I don't think you're allowed to be here. Mr. Keefe is right next door. 109 00:09:44,382 --> 00:09:47,112 Relax, Benjamin, I just want to get to know you better. 110 00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:53,720 So, when are you gonna let me read one of your stories? 111 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:58,190 I don't know. I usually don't let people read my stuff. 112 00:09:58,296 --> 00:09:59,263 Why not? 113 00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:02,193 I've let my mom read a few, but they've just made her cry. 114 00:10:03,301 --> 00:10:05,428 Most people just get sicked out and stop reading. 115 00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:08,231 Really? Are there romantic sequences? 116 00:10:08,707 --> 00:10:12,609 No. None of that crap. It's just some mild swearing and sci-fi violence. 117 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:15,202 Well, have you tried posting any of your stories online? 118 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,980 Yeah. But everybody can do that, you know. 119 00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:19,846 I want to get published for real. 120 00:10:19,985 --> 00:10:23,682 Ronald Chevalier had his first trilogy published when he was 15. 121 00:10:24,322 --> 00:10:28,088 Well, you'll never get anywhere by just letting your mom read your work. 122 00:10:40,338 --> 00:10:43,307 You can read this. It's called Yeast Lords 123 00:10:57,822 --> 00:11:00,347 The Nad Lab was a cold, white room 124 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,653 Bronco, the last of the Yeast Lords, 125 00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:05,662 lay spread-eagle, strapped to a medical pod 126 00:11:05,764 --> 00:11:09,222 Someone had stolen his yeast, and he had gone totally ape-sh 127 00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:13,771 What the crap? 128 00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:19,166 Oh, my... My gems! 129 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:23,076 Sorry, Bronco. We had to borrow one of your gonads. 130 00:11:23,782 --> 00:11:27,115 Daysius. I should've known it was you. 131 00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:29,345 Oh, I'm not the real Lord Daysius. 132 00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:32,719 My name is Dennis. I'm one of his many clones. 133 00:11:32,824 --> 00:11:36,726 We're all very sorry. Lord Daysius sends his regards. 134 00:11:36,828 --> 00:11:40,059 But we're investigating ways to strengthen the military. 135 00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,396 Your gonad is being used for research. 136 00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:45,663 You took my nads. 137 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:47,704 We only took one. 138 00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:49,706 You took my nads, Dennis. 139 00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:53,504 I know you're upset, but we plan to give it back. 140 00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:55,737 We'll be done with it very soon. 141 00:11:56,247 --> 00:12:00,411 Darn you, flippin' Daysius. 142 00:12:04,789 --> 00:12:07,656 Get away from me with that. You hear me? 143 00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:11,887 Relax, Bronco. This will ease the pain. 144 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:18,994 You release me, my cat's hungry. 145 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,231 Release me! 146 00:12:29,481 --> 00:12:32,382 You tell Lord Daysius to eat the corn out of my crap. 147 00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:03,970 Good night, Benjamin. I really need to think about this one. 148 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,229 Program. 149 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:22,800 Program. 150 00:13:52,363 --> 00:13:53,489 Before we commence the activities, 151 00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:56,158 I'd like to introduce you to a very special person 152 00:13:58,102 --> 00:14:03,597 He is a man who has repeatedly probed our imaginations for decades 153 00:14:04,909 --> 00:14:11,109 A man whose canon of work has pushed the envelope of science and reason 154 00:14:12,884 --> 00:14:19,187 A man who has created such realistic characters, I call them friends 155 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,481 Chevalier. He's talking about Ronald Chevalier. 156 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:23,249 Without further ado, 157 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:28,328 I give you one of the greatest science fiction authors of our time, 158 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:34,396 Dr Ronald Chevalier 159 00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:45,045 Thank you. So good to see you, Cletus. 160 00:14:53,658 --> 00:14:55,785 Greetings and salutations 161 00:14:56,527 --> 00:15:02,090 It is such an honor to be in the midst of so many juvescent ripe minds 162 00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:08,168 When I was your age, I had just completed my first trilogy, 163 00:15:08,606 --> 00:15:13,373 a body of work you now know as The Cyborg Harpies. 164 00:15:14,545 --> 00:15:16,376 - I love you, Ronald! - Thank you 165 00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:20,775 But what many people fail to recognize 166 00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:26,482 is that I created over 49 different pieces of cover art for that trilogy 167 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:28,592 No way. 168 00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:44,564 In this first piece, we see an early rendering of a harpy named Linda 169 00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:51,842 Here, she uses her knowledge of lasers to rupture the crust of a distant moon 170 00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:57,419 Here is a detail of the ruptured moon crust 171 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,986 '"Must rupture the moon crust, '" she's thinking 172 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:07,090 This is a piece that came to me in a dream when I was 11 173 00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:09,866 I call it Migration, 174 00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:15,504 and it depicts a fleet of harpies synchronizing their mammary cannons 175 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,267 to create laser-rain 176 00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:21,335 A hard rain's gonna fall 177 00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,846 And finally we have a youngling 178 00:16:26,050 --> 00:16:28,985 trying to penetrate the secrets of the human mind 179 00:16:30,388 --> 00:16:34,188 You won't do it like that, youngling You must use friendship 180 00:16:40,832 --> 00:16:41,890 Thank you 181 00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:46,492 For the first time ever, it is my privilege to announce 182 00:16:47,338 --> 00:16:49,704 Prism Publishing will be hosting a contest 183 00:16:49,874 --> 00:16:52,434 for the best work submitted at this festival 184 00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:57,604 It will be judged by a panel of industry professionals, 185 00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,381 including myself, 186 00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:05,019 and the winner will receive a 1,000-copy release of their work 187 00:17:05,189 --> 00:17:07,749 at selected bookstores nationwide 188 00:17:13,097 --> 00:17:19,935 In addition, I will personally create an original piece of cover art 189 00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,733 to accompany the winning story 190 00:17:26,144 --> 00:17:30,740 May the glistening chrome of the Borg Queen shed her light upon us all 191 00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:35,652 Amen 192 00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:14,149 I'm assuming that most of you are here for two main reasons. 193 00:18:14,592 --> 00:18:17,959 Alpha, you love to write fantasy fiction, 194 00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:23,494 and beta, the character names in your stories are suffering. 195 00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:29,101 We're going to begin with a little game which will demonstrate a theory of mine 196 00:18:29,207 --> 00:18:33,166 known as "The Power of the Suffix." 197 00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:38,779 You. Give me the name of one of the protagonists in your fantasies. 198 00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:40,878 Nebuchadnezzar. 199 00:18:41,018 --> 00:18:41,985 Oh, boy. 200 00:18:42,653 --> 00:18:43,620 Very original. 201 00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:45,789 I've heard that one before. 202 00:18:46,524 --> 00:18:49,687 But don't worry, need thou not be afraid, 203 00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:55,931 for we can turn a humdrum, forgettable name like Nebuchadnezzar 204 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:58,564 into something magical like this... 205 00:19:00,638 --> 00:19:01,832 Nebucoronius. 206 00:19:05,476 --> 00:19:06,602 And it's that easy. 207 00:19:07,678 --> 00:19:14,345 We can add "onius," "ainous," or "anous" 208 00:19:14,452 --> 00:19:17,080 to just about anything, and it becomes magical. 209 00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:20,881 You. Give me the name of one of your central protags. 210 00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:22,693 Bronco. 211 00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:24,891 What is he, a centaur? 212 00:19:24,996 --> 00:19:25,985 No. 213 00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:29,066 Does he shape-shift into equine form ever? 214 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,464 No, he's just a man. 215 00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:34,367 Well, then, I would... I would lose the "C" immediately, 216 00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:38,297 and I'd replace it with an "L." Bronlonius. 217 00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:41,744 And if he's part of a traveling clan, 218 00:19:41,846 --> 00:19:44,406 his clansfellow could call him Bronlo for short, 219 00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:46,543 except on formal occasions. 220 00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:47,940 Yes? 221 00:19:48,052 --> 00:19:50,020 What about names found in troll colonies? 222 00:19:51,389 --> 00:19:53,323 In troll colonies, well, that's a different matter. 223 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:55,922 Give me an example. 224 00:19:56,894 --> 00:19:58,725 One of my trolls is named Teacup. 225 00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:05,101 I don't like it. I would go with Trojainous every time. 226 00:20:07,638 --> 00:20:08,662 Yes? 227 00:20:08,773 --> 00:20:10,638 But I still like the name Teacup better. 228 00:20:10,775 --> 00:20:11,742 It's not a... 229 00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:16,279 It's not a question of liking it better, it's just I'm, as an author, 230 00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:19,008 picturing myself as a troll mother. 231 00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:23,014 I have just given birth to a litter of troll cubs. 232 00:20:23,287 --> 00:20:27,656 They're covered in placentae, pawing at my many teats 233 00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:30,817 for the vital, life-giving colostrum. 234 00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:35,397 I'm not thinking, "Hmm, Teacup," am I? 235 00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:38,927 It's just not believable. 236 00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:42,528 And if I don't believe it, the reader doesn't believe it. 237 00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:47,368 Trojainous. Troka Kahn. Trody. 238 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,411 Names in this vein. 239 00:20:50,648 --> 00:20:52,707 If female, Trojana. 240 00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:54,785 Yes? 241 00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:59,352 I thought trolls were supposed to be named after resources, like trees. 242 00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:03,426 Are you telling me what trolls are named after? 243 00:21:05,296 --> 00:21:08,265 You do realize I am the author of Troll, Ho 244 00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:11,734 Because it all boils down to species. 245 00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:15,494 Are they tree-dwellers, bridge-dwellers, subterranean? 246 00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:19,467 A troll wouldn't come up with a name like Teacup, a little girl would. 247 00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:23,211 Trojainous. 248 00:21:26,851 --> 00:21:28,079 How was the workshop? 249 00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:32,247 I don't know. Chevalier seems kind of full of himself. 250 00:21:32,356 --> 00:21:33,380 He's kind of lame. 251 00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:36,492 Really? I think he's gorgeous. 252 00:21:37,395 --> 00:21:40,387 He's not gonna like my story, the names are all wrong. 253 00:21:40,765 --> 00:21:42,323 Oh, I don't think so. 254 00:21:44,135 --> 00:21:45,102 What do you mean? 255 00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:49,239 Well, I thought your story was really good. 256 00:21:50,207 --> 00:21:51,174 Really? 257 00:21:51,542 --> 00:21:54,511 I thought you didn't like it. Last night you seemed offended. 258 00:21:55,346 --> 00:22:00,409 No. I... I actually thought it was kind of amazing. 259 00:22:02,253 --> 00:22:04,551 What inspired it? Some weird surgery you had? 260 00:22:06,891 --> 00:22:09,621 I wanted to write a story for my dad. 261 00:22:09,727 --> 00:22:12,423 He kind of died when I was young. 262 00:22:13,798 --> 00:22:16,494 Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. 263 00:22:16,967 --> 00:22:21,995 He was real brave. He was a game warden, an explorer. 264 00:22:22,239 --> 00:22:26,869 I see. So Bronco is kind of like your dad, 265 00:22:27,445 --> 00:22:31,142 and his gonads are his seed, which means the gonads are you. 266 00:22:31,549 --> 00:22:33,176 That's why they're so precious. 267 00:22:34,218 --> 00:22:36,448 Well, you know, like all great writers, 268 00:22:36,554 --> 00:22:38,784 you're gonna have to go through a lot of crap, 269 00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:44,520 but someday your junk will be seen by all, and it will be awesome. 270 00:22:44,962 --> 00:22:46,793 I truly believe that. 271 00:22:49,066 --> 00:22:50,033 Thanks, Tabatha. 272 00:22:59,643 --> 00:23:00,610 Chevalier. 273 00:23:01,178 --> 00:23:04,875 Ronald, how's the conference going Any contenders? 274 00:23:05,583 --> 00:23:08,746 Well, let me read you a passage from what I'm reading right now. 275 00:23:10,554 --> 00:23:13,421 "Pierre used to be a jockey in college. 276 00:23:13,557 --> 00:23:16,458 "He loves to have rice pudding with his tea. 277 00:23:16,794 --> 00:23:19,262 "He loves solving animal murders. 278 00:23:19,797 --> 00:23:25,429 "Pierre has two horses, Jacques and Paris France, both girls. 279 00:23:26,036 --> 00:23:28,732 "He rides Paris France on the brick roads in London, 280 00:23:28,839 --> 00:23:30,932 "looking for mysterious things. 281 00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:33,977 "He rides Jacques for pleasure." 282 00:23:35,179 --> 00:23:38,945 Merve, never make me do another one of these things again. 283 00:23:39,049 --> 00:23:40,573 These kids are a joke. 284 00:23:40,818 --> 00:23:42,376 Ronald, as your publisher, 285 00:23:42,686 --> 00:23:45,849 it's not a bad idea to get in touch with your audience once in a while 286 00:23:48,959 --> 00:23:49,926 All right. 287 00:23:52,496 --> 00:23:56,125 Listen, Merve, did you have a chance to look at the Sandcastle Diaries yet? 288 00:23:56,233 --> 00:24:00,260 Ronald, I'll cut to the chase It's horrible 289 00:24:00,371 --> 00:24:02,635 We can't publish it It won't sell 290 00:24:02,873 --> 00:24:05,535 Unless you can give us something worth taking to print, 291 00:24:05,643 --> 00:24:07,201 we're just gonna have to let you go 292 00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:08,606 Merve, Merve, wait. 293 00:24:09,647 --> 00:24:11,012 Moon Fetus 294 00:24:12,183 --> 00:24:15,209 A fetus is found on a moon base. 295 00:24:19,023 --> 00:24:20,320 That's the premise. 296 00:24:20,891 --> 00:24:22,051 I'll talk to you later 297 00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:11,473 Bronco cried out in pain as he sat on the shore of Goose Lake, 298 00:25:11,809 --> 00:25:13,640 trying to sew his junk back on 299 00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:28,023 - Excuse me. - What? 300 00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:29,490 Is this your pudding? 301 00:25:29,693 --> 00:25:30,682 What do you want? 302 00:25:31,896 --> 00:25:32,863 Hey! 303 00:25:34,398 --> 00:25:36,093 That was my backup nad. 304 00:25:36,934 --> 00:25:37,901 I'm sorry. 305 00:25:38,502 --> 00:25:40,333 Was it a fancy pudding? 306 00:25:47,144 --> 00:25:48,111 I know who you are. 307 00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:50,547 Say what? 308 00:25:51,248 --> 00:25:55,947 Our fathers fought valiantly and were victorious in the Battle of Shiroh. 309 00:25:57,855 --> 00:26:00,153 I was but a child then, maybe you don't remember. 310 00:26:01,058 --> 00:26:04,459 When your father died at the hands of Daysius, 311 00:26:04,962 --> 00:26:07,396 your mother wept so hard that her milk dried. 312 00:26:08,732 --> 00:26:12,566 To keep you alive, we shared suckle at my mother's breast. 313 00:26:15,072 --> 00:26:16,300 Vanaya? 314 00:26:17,308 --> 00:26:19,674 - It is I. - I don't believe that. 315 00:26:21,278 --> 00:26:22,609 My family is dead. 316 00:26:23,113 --> 00:26:25,104 My brother and I have been forced to work in the yeast factories 317 00:26:25,215 --> 00:26:26,739 ever since the epidemic. 318 00:26:26,850 --> 00:26:28,750 - You have a brother? - Yes. 319 00:26:29,253 --> 00:26:30,220 His name is Kanaya. 320 00:26:32,256 --> 00:26:33,245 He doesn't speak. 321 00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:37,155 But he's very handy with powders and gizmos and such. 322 00:26:37,261 --> 00:26:38,353 He can build anything. 323 00:26:39,563 --> 00:26:41,190 What y'all... What y'all want from me? 324 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:44,198 Let us come with you. 325 00:26:44,935 --> 00:26:48,336 Together, we can destroy Lord Daysius once and for all. 326 00:26:49,106 --> 00:26:53,736 We shall begin a new yeast colony, just like when we were children. 327 00:26:55,446 --> 00:26:59,542 Well, that's my dream, but there's only one problem. 328 00:27:00,818 --> 00:27:03,309 They got my reproductives, Vanaya. 329 00:27:03,787 --> 00:27:07,018 Daysius is gonna build himself an army using my seed. 330 00:27:08,092 --> 00:27:11,584 I can't let that happen. His power's become unruly. 331 00:27:11,929 --> 00:27:15,421 You know how weird that'd be, a bunch of gorgeous yeast lords 332 00:27:15,933 --> 00:27:20,336 with my face, running around, making dang fools of themselves? 333 00:27:21,338 --> 00:27:23,636 I'm sorry, Vanaya, I have to do this alone. 334 00:27:24,575 --> 00:27:26,805 You and Kanaya would just be dead weight, big time. 335 00:27:27,177 --> 00:27:28,235 Gotta cut bait on this deal. 336 00:27:28,345 --> 00:27:30,905 Krolaxx, come on. Come on, Krolaxx. 337 00:27:31,515 --> 00:27:34,450 We know where Daysius is hiding your yeast, Bronco. 338 00:27:34,785 --> 00:27:35,752 Yeah, right. 339 00:27:35,853 --> 00:27:39,914 I can smell a cache of yeast cakes 40 mile off. 340 00:27:40,157 --> 00:27:42,955 It's being held in a mountain fortress just north of here. 341 00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:44,227 I can show you. 342 00:27:44,928 --> 00:27:47,692 Kanaya and I just escaped from the yeast factory there. 343 00:27:49,033 --> 00:27:52,969 If you don't believe me, smell my breath. 344 00:28:07,284 --> 00:28:09,548 Tastes like homemade licorice. 345 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:11,317 Take me there. 346 00:28:12,856 --> 00:28:15,086 Take me to your yeast factory. 347 00:28:16,493 --> 00:28:18,757 I am your soldier. 348 00:28:24,001 --> 00:28:27,061 I know you like wearing your dad's old clothes, 349 00:28:27,538 --> 00:28:32,066 but while you were at Cletus Fest, I got you some new shoes. 350 00:28:33,243 --> 00:28:35,973 Only $5, clearance sale at Haymart. 351 00:28:42,419 --> 00:28:43,716 These are girls' shoes, Mom. 352 00:28:46,490 --> 00:28:48,151 Oh, shoot. 353 00:28:48,792 --> 00:28:50,817 I thought they were skipper shoes. 354 00:28:52,329 --> 00:28:53,956 How about some good news? 355 00:28:55,099 --> 00:28:57,727 I got really inspired about my collection, 356 00:28:57,835 --> 00:29:00,395 and I came up with a bunch of new designs. 357 00:29:04,775 --> 00:29:06,834 Do you mind if I run a few of them by you? 358 00:29:07,478 --> 00:29:08,445 Okay. 359 00:29:09,179 --> 00:29:13,479 I've changed the name of my collection to Decent Beginnings. 360 00:29:14,251 --> 00:29:16,981 I liked it 'cause I thought it had a wholesome ring, 361 00:29:17,087 --> 00:29:20,079 but I was hoping it could appeal to a younger market. 362 00:29:21,158 --> 00:29:26,152 Now, my first one is called Front Pew. 363 00:29:26,697 --> 00:29:30,656 Now what I did was I extended the hemline down like that, 364 00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:33,236 so it brings the attention back up to the eyes. 365 00:29:35,572 --> 00:29:38,700 And this one, it's breakfast-inspired. 366 00:29:39,910 --> 00:29:42,037 It's called Simply Cinnamon. 367 00:29:43,046 --> 00:29:46,982 I'm gonna make it out of some beach towels with some burlap fringe. 368 00:29:50,821 --> 00:29:53,483 This one is called Righteous Dew. 369 00:29:54,224 --> 00:29:57,057 Your father would've just loved this one. 370 00:29:59,763 --> 00:30:02,231 This one's called Reachable Dream, 371 00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:07,670 because all of our dreams are reachable, Benjy, even yours. 372 00:30:29,326 --> 00:30:31,726 Hi. Welcome to LeVonne's. 373 00:30:31,862 --> 00:30:33,420 Can I look at that salmon gown? 374 00:30:35,299 --> 00:30:36,266 Certainly. 375 00:30:43,106 --> 00:30:48,066 This is a very practical design from LeVonne's new Sunset Plains edition. 376 00:30:48,178 --> 00:30:49,202 Well, how much is it? 377 00:30:51,048 --> 00:30:54,279 This treasure right here is on sale today for $79.95. 378 00:30:54,585 --> 00:30:56,348 Well, that's a rip-off. 379 00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:04,824 Hey. What are you guys doing here? 380 00:31:04,995 --> 00:31:08,158 Lonnie's stepsister runs the Navajo Taco stand. 381 00:31:08,999 --> 00:31:10,432 They make a really good taco. 382 00:31:18,508 --> 00:31:20,738 So, I noticed you left Cletus early. 383 00:31:20,844 --> 00:31:24,610 Yeah, I had to come back and help my mom with the trade show. 384 00:31:26,516 --> 00:31:28,211 When do we get our manuscripts back? 385 00:31:28,719 --> 00:31:31,813 Well, we got ours at the end of camp. Maybe they'll mail yours. 386 00:31:31,922 --> 00:31:33,150 But don't you have another copy? 387 00:31:33,257 --> 00:31:35,782 Because I really think Lonnie should read it. 388 00:31:36,026 --> 00:31:38,153 He has connections in the audiovisual industry. 389 00:31:38,262 --> 00:31:41,163 He might know someone that could help get you published. 390 00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:43,197 Are you serious? 391 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:44,460 Mmm. 392 00:31:44,701 --> 00:31:47,932 Well, it was so nice to see you, Benjamin. Bye. 393 00:31:48,038 --> 00:31:49,266 Oh, okay. 394 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,344 Yes. 395 00:32:10,527 --> 00:32:11,494 Bronco. 396 00:32:13,697 --> 00:32:15,631 I can do better. 397 00:32:16,466 --> 00:32:17,831 Broncanuss. 398 00:32:22,706 --> 00:32:23,934 Broncaho. 399 00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:26,235 Not quite. 400 00:32:30,714 --> 00:32:31,942 Brutus. 401 00:32:37,454 --> 00:32:38,421 Forgive me. 402 00:32:42,926 --> 00:32:43,893 Cyclops there. 403 00:32:44,761 --> 00:32:45,728 Cyclops there. 404 00:32:49,132 --> 00:32:52,124 Brutus and Venonka surveyed the yeast factory, 405 00:32:52,235 --> 00:32:54,533 looking for an Achilles'heel 406 00:32:55,205 --> 00:32:56,263 There was none 407 00:32:57,007 --> 00:33:00,807 Cyclops there. Cyclops there. 408 00:33:02,346 --> 00:33:04,507 Cyclops there. 409 00:33:05,248 --> 00:33:06,215 Turrets. 410 00:33:08,185 --> 00:33:09,948 Moon buggies. 411 00:33:12,923 --> 00:33:14,823 Oh, my holy crap. 412 00:33:15,392 --> 00:33:17,223 Surveillance does. 413 00:33:17,728 --> 00:33:18,695 I hate those. 414 00:33:19,863 --> 00:33:24,357 This is ridiculous. That's the most well-guarded yeast factory I've ever seen. 415 00:33:24,968 --> 00:33:27,459 Kenonka. Kenonka. 416 00:33:28,372 --> 00:33:30,237 Show me your bag of secrets. 417 00:33:32,909 --> 00:33:34,536 What's all this crap? 418 00:33:34,678 --> 00:33:38,170 I thought you said he was good at making bombs and robots and stuff. 419 00:33:38,281 --> 00:33:42,012 What I meant to say was he likes collecting things. 420 00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:43,987 What's he doing now? 421 00:33:44,488 --> 00:33:47,651 I don't know. He must have found something. 422 00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,282 (SIGHS) I'm not seeing it. 423 00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:51,357 I'm not seeing results. 424 00:33:51,995 --> 00:33:54,020 All I see is a bunch of organic waste. 425 00:33:55,465 --> 00:33:58,025 What did he find, the genius? 426 00:34:01,638 --> 00:34:03,128 Wait a sec. 427 00:34:11,248 --> 00:34:12,579 Well, it's not a clean yeast. 428 00:34:14,017 --> 00:34:18,010 It's just a fungus beef sharing a few yeast-like properties. 429 00:34:21,825 --> 00:34:23,918 'Tis ripe and delicious, though. 430 00:34:24,995 --> 00:34:26,087 Watch this. 431 00:34:33,837 --> 00:34:35,737 All right, let's give it a little test. 432 00:34:37,808 --> 00:34:38,775 Not bad. 433 00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:42,278 It's pretty good yeast. 434 00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:44,772 This isn't bad. 435 00:34:46,249 --> 00:34:47,739 This is pretty good. 436 00:34:47,851 --> 00:34:51,218 It's not concentrate, but it's pretty darn good. 437 00:34:51,788 --> 00:34:53,278 Ha ha, whoopee! 438 00:34:55,792 --> 00:34:56,759 I like it. 439 00:34:58,562 --> 00:34:59,551 I like it. 440 00:35:23,487 --> 00:35:26,979 Hey, Benjamin, come here. I want you to meet someone. 441 00:35:31,895 --> 00:35:33,123 Benjamin. 442 00:35:33,697 --> 00:35:37,531 I want you to meet Dusty, your new Guardian Angel. 443 00:35:37,701 --> 00:35:38,668 What? 444 00:35:38,835 --> 00:35:40,860 Well, I noticed you didn't have any friends, 445 00:35:41,471 --> 00:35:45,032 so I signed you up for the Guardian Angel program at church. 446 00:35:47,010 --> 00:35:50,537 I thought maybe you two could go out in the back and get to know each other 447 00:35:50,647 --> 00:35:52,638 while I grill up some cod. 448 00:35:55,585 --> 00:35:57,314 Oh, my word. 449 00:36:01,424 --> 00:36:02,391 That's all right. 450 00:36:03,927 --> 00:36:06,088 Maybe I have some paper towel. 451 00:36:07,097 --> 00:36:08,496 Oh, my goodness. 452 00:36:23,180 --> 00:36:24,875 Your mom's smoking hot. 453 00:36:25,949 --> 00:36:26,916 What? 454 00:36:27,050 --> 00:36:28,108 Shh! 455 00:36:37,861 --> 00:36:38,828 What is that? 456 00:36:39,496 --> 00:36:41,930 It's rat poison and some of my poo. 457 00:36:42,032 --> 00:36:44,660 Sick. Is it lethal? 458 00:36:45,168 --> 00:36:48,331 No. I don't know. Maybe. 459 00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:52,474 Here, you try it. 460 00:36:52,576 --> 00:36:53,634 I can't. 461 00:36:53,743 --> 00:36:55,472 Dude, it's the circle of life. Go for it. 462 00:37:22,939 --> 00:37:24,907 Centaur lover 463 00:37:29,145 --> 00:37:31,443 Centaur lover 464 00:37:36,386 --> 00:37:37,353 Chevalier. 465 00:37:37,487 --> 00:37:40,081 - Ronald, it's Merve - Yes? 466 00:37:40,290 --> 00:37:43,259 I don't know where this came from, but it's fantastic 467 00:37:43,627 --> 00:37:45,219 Really? You like it? 468 00:37:45,328 --> 00:37:48,559 I haven't even finished reading it, I've already approved it for print 469 00:37:48,665 --> 00:37:49,632 That's amazing. 470 00:37:49,799 --> 00:37:53,667 I mean, it's a little jarring in places, but I think it's gonna sell really well 471 00:37:53,770 --> 00:37:54,862 Are you sure, Merve? 472 00:37:54,971 --> 00:37:58,065 I've just completed the cover art for Star Bracelets 473 00:37:58,174 --> 00:38:00,472 No, no, no, I want you to start doing preliminary sketches 474 00:38:00,577 --> 00:38:02,841 of Brutus and his dog, Balzaak 475 00:38:03,413 --> 00:38:06,041 Yes. Yes, I'll get right on it. 476 00:38:06,149 --> 00:38:09,312 You're back to your old self Congratulations, Ronald 477 00:38:09,786 --> 00:38:11,981 - Thank you, Merve. - No, thank you 478 00:38:18,061 --> 00:38:19,892 - Mom. - What? 479 00:38:19,996 --> 00:38:21,486 You're not bleeding, it's just water. 480 00:38:22,198 --> 00:38:23,165 What? 481 00:38:32,275 --> 00:38:33,503 My gelee insert. 482 00:38:34,711 --> 00:38:36,076 You're gonna be okay. 483 00:38:39,816 --> 00:38:40,840 Hello? 484 00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:43,111 May I please speak to Mr Benjamin Purvis? 485 00:38:43,987 --> 00:38:44,954 Tabatha? 486 00:38:45,055 --> 00:38:47,216 I'm calling you on behalf of Donaho Studios 487 00:38:47,357 --> 00:38:51,851 Lonnie thinks he wants to produce Yeast Lords 488 00:38:52,929 --> 00:38:55,056 Are you serious? He wants to make it into a movie? 489 00:38:55,165 --> 00:38:58,566 Mmm-hmm. It's gonna be our next major motion picture. 490 00:38:58,668 --> 00:39:01,159 We'd like for you to come down to Donaho Studios to discuss. 491 00:39:01,571 --> 00:39:04,506 Also, could you play a role in the movie that we're shooting right now? 492 00:39:04,607 --> 00:39:07,201 The sooner we finish it, the sooner that we can start yours. 493 00:39:08,745 --> 00:39:09,712 Yeah. 494 00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:13,581 Yeah, totally. I'd be honored. What's it about? 495 00:39:13,717 --> 00:39:16,345 It's a romantic story I wrote. You would be perfect. 496 00:39:16,453 --> 00:39:18,318 And also, since your mom works for LeVonne's, 497 00:39:18,421 --> 00:39:20,321 do you think you could bring some nightgowns? 498 00:39:20,423 --> 00:39:22,516 'Cause we are in desperate need of sexy nightwear. 499 00:39:23,093 --> 00:39:24,560 That's fine. Yeah, I could do that. 500 00:39:25,228 --> 00:39:27,253 Okay, great. So, we'll see you soon. 501 00:39:27,364 --> 00:39:31,198 And congratulations, Benjamin. This is a very big deal. 502 00:39:45,448 --> 00:39:47,109 Are these the nighties? 503 00:39:47,317 --> 00:39:49,683 Yeah. We have to be really careful with them, though. 504 00:39:53,223 --> 00:39:54,690 Hey, Lonnie, what are my lines? 505 00:39:54,791 --> 00:39:56,656 Okay, guys, we've just got two more scenes, 506 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,421 and then this trailer will be done. 507 00:40:00,997 --> 00:40:02,225 Headphone, please. 508 00:40:10,774 --> 00:40:11,832 And... 509 00:40:14,110 --> 00:40:15,077 Action. 510 00:41:01,658 --> 00:41:03,853 Mmm. You like? 511 00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:12,067 Cut! 512 00:41:13,269 --> 00:41:16,966 Lonnie! You can't do that. That's an $80 Don Carlos. 513 00:41:17,140 --> 00:41:18,471 Excuse me? 514 00:41:18,575 --> 00:41:20,702 I don't even think we were supposed to take the tags off. 515 00:41:21,444 --> 00:41:24,811 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't do this. This movie's gonna suck. 516 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:32,153 Benjamin. 517 00:41:32,255 --> 00:41:33,916 No, Benjamin, wait, I'm sorry. 518 00:41:34,023 --> 00:41:35,650 Look, it was Lonnie's idea, not mine. 519 00:41:35,758 --> 00:41:38,488 And I'll have my people restore it with scrap linens. 520 00:41:38,661 --> 00:41:40,561 Tabatha, me and my mom are gonna be out, like, 100 bucks now. 521 00:41:40,663 --> 00:41:41,960 We can't afford that. 522 00:41:42,165 --> 00:41:43,530 Benjamin, look, 523 00:41:43,633 --> 00:41:47,399 Lonnie has come into some serious cash lately. 524 00:41:48,238 --> 00:41:49,205 What does that mean? 525 00:41:50,073 --> 00:41:53,873 Benjamin, Lonnie wants to pay you for Yeast Lords 526 00:41:55,211 --> 00:41:56,178 Are you serious? 527 00:41:56,479 --> 00:41:57,912 I'm dead serious. 528 00:41:58,014 --> 00:41:59,345 Yeast Lords is amazing, 529 00:41:59,449 --> 00:42:02,441 and it is definitely worth at least a couple hundred bucks. 530 00:42:03,286 --> 00:42:06,050 Hey, Lonnie? Tell him how much you're willing to pay. 531 00:42:06,723 --> 00:42:08,418 500, cash. 532 00:42:08,725 --> 00:42:09,692 500? 533 00:42:10,093 --> 00:42:11,754 What's wrong? These guys owe you some money? 534 00:42:13,029 --> 00:42:13,996 No. 535 00:42:14,230 --> 00:42:15,857 Who's that guy? 536 00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:19,225 He's my Angel. 537 00:42:20,570 --> 00:42:22,470 Nice. 538 00:42:27,844 --> 00:42:29,505 So, do we have a deal or what? 539 00:42:32,615 --> 00:42:33,707 Yeah. 540 00:42:37,453 --> 00:42:38,852 Hi, guys. 541 00:42:41,057 --> 00:42:42,991 Did you catch any neat rocks? 542 00:42:43,726 --> 00:42:45,751 Yeah. It was fun. 543 00:42:49,098 --> 00:42:50,725 How about you, Duster? 544 00:42:52,402 --> 00:42:53,369 What? 545 00:43:25,969 --> 00:43:28,870 Bronco and Vanaya began their assault on the yeast factory, 546 00:43:29,305 --> 00:43:33,139 but the yeast patty Bronco had previously eaten started to make him feel like crap 547 00:44:05,708 --> 00:44:07,232 Bronco! 548 00:44:07,744 --> 00:44:10,577 We must stop that gunfire before it kills Lord Bronco. 549 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,148 Well, find something, Kanaya, anything. 550 00:44:24,861 --> 00:44:26,795 Well, not that, you idiot. 551 00:44:27,063 --> 00:44:28,894 That's just an old pudding. 552 00:44:42,912 --> 00:44:45,005 Bronco. Are you all right? 553 00:44:45,548 --> 00:44:46,606 What happened? 554 00:44:46,916 --> 00:44:49,146 The fungus beef, it's poisoned your spine juice. 555 00:44:49,252 --> 00:44:50,719 We must get you out of here. 556 00:44:50,820 --> 00:44:54,415 I can't move. My buttocks is completely numb. 557 00:45:01,631 --> 00:45:05,123 Oh, mother. A battle stag. 558 00:45:05,768 --> 00:45:07,497 I hate those. 559 00:45:12,675 --> 00:45:15,803 No! Run, Kanaya, run! 560 00:45:36,699 --> 00:45:39,668 No, Kanaya, no! Run away! 561 00:46:07,096 --> 00:46:08,825 And action. 562 00:46:15,538 --> 00:46:17,438 Are you all right, Vanaya? 563 00:46:19,509 --> 00:46:25,141 My brother. He sacrificed himself, and for nothing. 564 00:46:26,082 --> 00:46:27,515 We are yeastless. 565 00:46:27,717 --> 00:46:29,480 We are yeastless. 566 00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,243 Easy, easy. 567 00:46:32,255 --> 00:46:34,120 Your brother loves you, Vanaya. 568 00:46:34,657 --> 00:46:35,988 He'll do anything for you. 569 00:46:37,226 --> 00:46:39,660 But Daysius has surely destroyed him by now. 570 00:46:42,365 --> 00:46:43,764 He's the chosen one. 571 00:46:45,935 --> 00:46:48,165 He was born with flesh pockets. 572 00:46:49,672 --> 00:46:51,799 Haven't you read the prophecies? 573 00:46:52,208 --> 00:46:53,175 No. 574 00:46:53,609 --> 00:46:55,975 We must stop him, Bronco. 575 00:46:56,245 --> 00:46:58,805 Yes, but first we must rest our bodies. 576 00:47:00,049 --> 00:47:02,609 Come, let's bed down for the eve. 577 00:47:03,452 --> 00:47:04,680 Okay. 578 00:47:06,823 --> 00:47:07,790 And... 579 00:47:09,091 --> 00:47:10,058 Cut! 580 00:47:14,730 --> 00:47:15,697 Lonnie. 581 00:47:16,399 --> 00:47:17,366 Lonnie. 582 00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:19,468 And there we go, I think. Is that good? 583 00:47:19,569 --> 00:47:20,593 Yes. 584 00:47:22,071 --> 00:47:24,699 Oh, my gosh, Lonnie, I think all the changes you made to the script 585 00:47:24,807 --> 00:47:26,934 are so much better than the original. 586 00:47:27,043 --> 00:47:28,908 I mean, this will be one of the few movies out there 587 00:47:29,011 --> 00:47:31,445 that is actually way better than the book. 588 00:48:11,621 --> 00:48:16,285 Without a doubt, the best line I've ever written is this, 589 00:48:17,293 --> 00:48:20,091 '"Referring to her neck, she squawked, 590 00:48:20,363 --> 00:48:24,493 '"'This isn't a wart, this is the chancellor of the galaxy 591 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:25,897 '"'Now let us in" 592 00:48:31,407 --> 00:48:32,738 Next question 593 00:48:33,542 --> 00:48:34,509 Over here 594 00:48:35,544 --> 00:48:37,978 In the second book of the Cyborg Harpies trilogy, 595 00:48:38,147 --> 00:48:39,671 Tribonius seduces the Borg Queen 596 00:48:39,782 --> 00:48:42,615 by playing her an original piece of music on his harpy-chord. 597 00:48:43,219 --> 00:48:45,312 Can you explain what that music was supposed to sound like? 598 00:48:45,721 --> 00:48:49,987 Yes I believe you're referring to a piece entitled Gorgana's Lullaby, 599 00:48:50,626 --> 00:48:55,928 the notes of which are too numerous for the human ear to decipher 600 00:48:56,299 --> 00:48:59,496 I can, however, reveal the lyrics to that tune, 601 00:48:59,602 --> 00:49:02,969 which until now have been unpublished 602 00:49:03,372 --> 00:49:04,339 That'd be awesome. 603 00:49:11,047 --> 00:49:14,539 '"Within my breast-meat, there is a famine 604 00:49:15,384 --> 00:49:19,218 '"No more sweets in the mammary cannon 605 00:49:19,922 --> 00:49:24,757 '"You are Gorgana, my eagle, my queen 606 00:49:25,127 --> 00:49:28,062 '"Your ovaries will destroy me 607 00:49:28,698 --> 00:49:30,529 '"Collect me in your wings 608 00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:35,903 '"I am just a man, and I want to breed 609 00:49:36,772 --> 00:49:40,333 '"Together we will learn to love 610 00:49:40,876 --> 00:49:45,973 '"You gorgeous hag, you freak machine'" 611 00:49:54,323 --> 00:49:55,950 Yes, the young man right over here 612 00:49:57,093 --> 00:50:00,119 I recently sold a story that I wrote to some independent filmmakers, 613 00:50:00,229 --> 00:50:01,787 and I'm worried they're gonna ruin it. 614 00:50:02,231 --> 00:50:04,699 I know a lot of your books have been made into TV movies, 615 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,325 so I'm just wondering how you've been able to let go 616 00:50:07,436 --> 00:50:10,200 and let somebody else completely change the vision of your work. 617 00:50:11,607 --> 00:50:15,236 Great question Thank you for firing it at me 618 00:50:17,513 --> 00:50:22,109 I remember early on in my career working on the first Harpy mini-series 619 00:50:22,218 --> 00:50:26,587 I told the producers I wanted everything to be absolutely real 620 00:50:26,889 --> 00:50:30,256 No special effects I didn't believe in them and I still don't 621 00:50:30,593 --> 00:50:35,621 And I had a scientist friend of mine from MITbuild 622 00:50:35,731 --> 00:50:40,395 a prototype of some mamocans, which shot actual lasers 623 00:50:41,871 --> 00:50:45,432 I tried them on during a lunch break in front of the crew, 624 00:50:45,541 --> 00:50:50,274 and one overheated and began to malfunction, 625 00:50:50,513 --> 00:50:53,971 and actually exploded and maimed a dolly grip 626 00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:55,675 It was very sad 627 00:50:56,419 --> 00:50:58,853 So how do I avoid situations like that? 628 00:50:59,088 --> 00:51:02,546 I mean, the idea of somebody bastardizing my work really freaks me out. 629 00:51:02,658 --> 00:51:05,650 I see Have they paid you yet? 630 00:51:05,795 --> 00:51:07,285 Yeah. They gave me a check. 631 00:51:07,463 --> 00:51:10,899 Well, cash that check immediately Enjoy your money 632 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,901 I mean, isn't that why we do what we do, dagnammit? 633 00:51:15,304 --> 00:51:17,670 For the money, for the riches of the earth 634 00:51:17,807 --> 00:51:19,741 When the future generations will look back, 635 00:51:19,842 --> 00:51:22,333 do you think they will remember us for our writing? 636 00:51:22,478 --> 00:51:25,345 No, but for the wealth we have accumulated 637 00:51:25,481 --> 00:51:27,415 Why do you think I wear this bracelet? 638 00:51:31,854 --> 00:51:35,187 And who knows? Perhaps these producers may create 639 00:51:35,291 --> 00:51:38,419 something even better than your original version 640 00:51:43,299 --> 00:51:45,494 Thank you, and thank you for coming. Thank you. 641 00:51:46,569 --> 00:51:47,797 Thank you very much. 642 00:51:47,903 --> 00:51:49,700 You're welcome. Thank you. 643 00:51:50,172 --> 00:51:51,139 Hello. 644 00:51:51,707 --> 00:51:53,470 Hey. I don't know if you remember me or anything. 645 00:51:53,576 --> 00:51:55,806 I was actually in your workshop at Cletus Fest. 646 00:51:56,445 --> 00:51:59,471 Of course. Yes, you look vaguely familiar. 647 00:52:00,349 --> 00:52:02,510 I submitted this story called Yeast Lords 648 00:52:02,618 --> 00:52:03,676 I know it didn't win or anything, 649 00:52:03,786 --> 00:52:05,811 I was just wondering maybe if you had read it, 650 00:52:05,955 --> 00:52:08,253 I thought maybe you can give me your feedback. 651 00:52:09,992 --> 00:52:11,619 No, I don't think I read that one. 652 00:52:11,727 --> 00:52:13,820 It must have been one of the other judges. 653 00:52:15,231 --> 00:52:16,198 Okay. 654 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:18,794 Goodbye. 655 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:44,247 Mom. 656 00:52:47,018 --> 00:52:49,714 Mom, you need to calm down and stop watching yourself cry. 657 00:53:01,766 --> 00:53:03,256 My gosh. 658 00:53:04,602 --> 00:53:09,335 I just... You know, I did the inventory for the LeVonne's gowns this morning, 659 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,409 and it... It appears that there's one or two things missing. 660 00:53:12,510 --> 00:53:15,843 And that's $100 we don't have this month. 661 00:53:16,847 --> 00:53:19,111 I don't know how I'm gonna give you a birthday. 662 00:53:19,717 --> 00:53:21,514 Don't worry about that, I'm fine. 663 00:53:22,586 --> 00:53:26,352 You know, in the meantime, I might have you try to sell some of my Country Balls. 664 00:53:27,124 --> 00:53:30,958 You know, maybe we could have, like, a... A two-for-one deal. 665 00:53:35,299 --> 00:53:37,358 Mom, I am not selling two in a sack. 666 00:53:38,035 --> 00:53:40,526 Come on, feel how heavy these are. 667 00:53:46,677 --> 00:53:48,440 Two-for-one Country Balls. 668 00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,145 Two-for-one Country Balls. 669 00:54:02,059 --> 00:54:04,084 Hi. I just need to cash this. 670 00:54:06,997 --> 00:54:09,090 This check is post-dated for next year. 671 00:54:09,233 --> 00:54:10,200 It is? 672 00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:12,393 Come back in a year from now, and we'll see if it clears. 673 00:54:42,099 --> 00:54:43,066 Yeah! 674 00:54:56,881 --> 00:54:59,941 The world is closing in 675 00:55:00,050 --> 00:55:03,110 Did you ever think 676 00:55:03,220 --> 00:55:09,887 that we could be so close, like brothers? 677 00:55:11,095 --> 00:55:14,064 The future's in the air 678 00:55:14,165 --> 00:55:17,362 I can feel it everywhere 679 00:55:17,468 --> 00:55:23,464 Blowing with the wind of change 680 00:55:25,509 --> 00:55:31,209 Take me to the magic of the moment 681 00:55:31,315 --> 00:55:34,580 On a glory night 682 00:55:34,685 --> 00:55:40,146 Where the children of tomorrow dream away 683 00:55:40,257 --> 00:55:43,522 In the wind of change 684 00:55:52,503 --> 00:55:55,233 Walking down the street 685 00:55:55,372 --> 00:55:58,432 Distant memories 686 00:55:58,542 --> 00:56:05,209 Are buried in the past forever 687 00:56:06,550 --> 00:56:09,576 I follow the Moskva 688 00:56:09,687 --> 00:56:12,850 Down to Gorky Park 689 00:56:12,957 --> 00:56:19,328 Listening to the wind of change 690 00:56:20,865 --> 00:56:26,531 Take me to the magic of the moment 691 00:56:26,637 --> 00:56:29,970 On a glory night 692 00:56:30,074 --> 00:56:35,569 Where the children of tomorrow dream away 693 00:56:35,713 --> 00:56:39,945 In the wind of change 694 00:57:03,807 --> 00:57:06,367 Broadcasting live from Saltair Studios 695 00:57:06,477 --> 00:57:08,274 here in the Great Basin valley, 696 00:57:08,646 --> 00:57:11,444 we bring you The Rod Decker Show, 697 00:57:11,548 --> 00:57:14,016 serving your community for over a decade 698 00:57:14,285 --> 00:57:16,412 Your host, Rod Decker 699 00:57:18,289 --> 00:57:20,553 Good morning Welcome to The Rod Decker Show. 700 00:57:20,824 --> 00:57:23,349 We have some filmmakers here today 701 00:57:23,727 --> 00:57:27,060 Mr Lonnie Donaho is the director ofYeast Lords. 702 00:57:27,331 --> 00:57:30,494 Miss Tabatha Jenkins is the producer. 703 00:57:30,701 --> 00:57:34,637 And seated next to me is Mr. Dusty Crissop. He's the leading man. 704 00:57:34,738 --> 00:57:37,172 Look. It's Dusty. 705 00:57:37,408 --> 00:57:41,742 These guys are prolific. This is your 84th production, Mr. Donaho? 706 00:57:41,946 --> 00:57:42,913 And what's it about? 707 00:57:43,314 --> 00:57:47,045 Basically, it's a story about two Ionely souls 708 00:57:47,318 --> 00:57:51,254 that find love during a time of war and disease. 709 00:57:51,789 --> 00:57:53,188 War and disease 710 00:57:53,457 --> 00:57:56,517 Okay, that sounds That sounds interesting Yeast Lords. 711 00:57:56,827 --> 00:57:58,761 Your idea? Did you come up with it? 712 00:57:58,862 --> 00:58:03,094 No way. She bought the story from a boy named Benjy Purvis. 713 00:58:03,701 --> 00:58:05,498 This is so neat. 714 00:58:06,170 --> 00:58:09,697 But to be honest, his story had some major issues. 715 00:58:10,007 --> 00:58:14,808 Bridgette? Some kind of troupe of pre-teen amateur circus freaks 716 00:58:14,912 --> 00:58:16,880 have made an adaptation of Brutus and Balzaak 717 00:58:17,014 --> 00:58:18,276 without my permission. 718 00:58:18,582 --> 00:58:22,416 I'm completely distressed. I can't even concentrate on my audio book narration. 719 00:58:23,220 --> 00:58:26,519 Dusty Crissop, the leading man, a movie star. 720 00:58:26,623 --> 00:58:28,750 What was it like working with Mr. Donaho? 721 00:58:28,926 --> 00:58:34,023 Lonnie is the best director I've ever worked with, by far. 722 00:58:35,933 --> 00:58:40,632 I don't know of another director who can call "action" one minute, 723 00:58:40,771 --> 00:58:44,400 and the next he puts on a bald head and he's acting. 724 00:58:45,342 --> 00:58:47,708 Yes, I don't know what we can do. Can we sue them? 725 00:58:48,746 --> 00:58:50,373 Can we crush them in the press? 726 00:58:50,914 --> 00:58:53,678 It's like working with an extension of myself 727 00:58:53,784 --> 00:58:56,947 I know, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's plagiarism. 728 00:58:57,621 --> 00:58:58,588 We're out of time. 729 00:58:59,056 --> 00:59:01,183 If you want to see Yeast Lords, 730 00:59:01,291 --> 00:59:04,192 premiere is tonight at the Saltair Cinema. 731 00:59:04,762 --> 00:59:06,753 And to my guests, break a leg. 732 00:59:06,864 --> 00:59:08,889 I think that's what they say in show business. 733 00:59:09,266 --> 00:59:10,995 Thanks for being here. Good luck to you. 734 00:59:11,101 --> 00:59:13,160 - Thanks, Rod. - Thank you. 735 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,673 Oh, my gosh. Benjamin. 736 00:59:20,477 --> 00:59:22,570 What are you and I gonna wear to the premiere? 737 00:59:23,881 --> 00:59:26,406 You got to promise me you're gonna let me make you something. 738 00:59:36,927 --> 00:59:38,019 Mr. Donaho? 739 00:59:39,696 --> 00:59:42,164 Hi, I'm with the Village Gazette Nice to meet you. 740 00:59:42,266 --> 00:59:43,233 Hi. 741 00:59:53,644 --> 00:59:56,909 Hey, Benjamin. I'm so glad you came. How are you? 742 00:59:57,014 --> 00:59:58,072 I'm good. 743 00:59:58,182 --> 01:00:00,207 Nice to see you, Benjy-boy. 744 01:00:00,384 --> 01:00:03,376 Hey, Lonnie. This is my mom, Judith. 745 01:00:03,620 --> 01:00:06,646 Hi. I like your matching hippie clothes. 746 01:00:06,990 --> 01:00:08,423 Oh, thank you. 747 01:00:11,128 --> 01:00:13,528 There are important press people here, 748 01:00:13,730 --> 01:00:16,790 so don't forget to do a nice standing ovation. 749 01:00:17,101 --> 01:00:18,193 You got it. 750 01:00:19,369 --> 01:00:20,961 Shall we take our seats? 751 01:00:36,653 --> 01:00:38,644 Daisy had everything 752 01:00:39,790 --> 01:00:40,757 Beauty 753 01:00:41,825 --> 01:00:42,792 Money 754 01:00:44,361 --> 01:00:46,921 A 50-acre horse ranch 755 01:00:49,833 --> 01:00:51,801 A prize-winning stallion 756 01:00:53,403 --> 01:00:54,995 But what she didn't have was 757 01:00:55,372 --> 01:00:58,205 Logan, the stable boy 758 01:01:03,447 --> 01:01:06,678 But he was already married to her sister 759 01:01:16,393 --> 01:01:18,987 Hey, Logan, want to go for a ride? 760 01:01:19,930 --> 01:01:21,625 Can we bring old big sis along? 761 01:01:21,965 --> 01:01:24,229 I was thinking it could be just the two of us 762 01:01:27,104 --> 01:01:29,664 Come on in The water's great 763 01:01:30,941 --> 01:01:32,408 I don't think that's a good idea 764 01:01:54,765 --> 01:01:58,895 I don't care if you have a 50-acre ranch or a prize-winning stallion 765 01:01:59,069 --> 01:02:02,163 I love my wife We have a great physical relationship 766 01:02:04,374 --> 01:02:07,400 My horse's semen is worth $10 million 767 01:02:08,412 --> 01:02:11,347 Investors from all over the world have tried everything they can 768 01:02:11,448 --> 01:02:12,847 to get their hands on it 769 01:02:24,228 --> 01:02:25,195 Benjamin. 770 01:02:35,172 --> 01:02:37,868 I've only just realized that what we shared together onscreen 771 01:02:37,975 --> 01:02:40,239 was very real to me. 772 01:02:41,745 --> 01:02:42,712 I don't feel very good. 773 01:02:43,013 --> 01:02:45,675 Oh, well, you're nervous about the film, aren't you? 774 01:02:46,350 --> 01:02:47,339 Yeah. 775 01:02:47,451 --> 01:02:48,475 Well, let's get out of here, then. 776 01:02:48,585 --> 01:02:52,077 Let's go someplace where we can relax and be alone. 777 01:02:55,892 --> 01:02:56,859 Okay. 778 01:02:57,694 --> 01:02:58,956 Can you hold on for just a second? 779 01:02:59,062 --> 01:03:00,029 Oh, yeah. 780 01:03:25,922 --> 01:03:28,618 Come with me to my underground facilities 781 01:03:37,167 --> 01:03:40,694 Working at the yeast facility has made my breasts so big 782 01:03:41,104 --> 01:03:43,368 and gave me so many diseases 783 01:03:44,174 --> 01:03:46,608 I wish I could've been there for ye 784 01:03:49,146 --> 01:03:53,276 Your brother loves you, Vanaya, and he'd do anything for ye 785 01:03:54,117 --> 01:03:56,847 But Daysius has surely destroyed him by now 786 01:04:11,935 --> 01:04:14,961 One of the laser hit my boobs 787 01:04:15,806 --> 01:04:17,205 Okay, we can go. 788 01:04:35,926 --> 01:04:39,555 I thought we could grab a couple of sudokus and snuggle up somewhere. 789 01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:19,196 Groggily, Brutus regained consciousness 790 01:05:19,369 --> 01:05:21,200 There was a numb pain below, 791 01:05:21,338 --> 01:05:24,603 some stitches obviously sewn by a medical droid 792 01:05:24,875 --> 01:05:29,938 Instantly, Brutus knew that one of his reproductive bags had been stolen 793 01:05:35,285 --> 01:05:37,947 Oh, my gosh, is that the new Chevalier book? 794 01:05:38,722 --> 01:05:39,689 Read this. 795 01:05:40,323 --> 01:05:41,813 Benjy, don't ruin it for me. 796 01:05:41,925 --> 01:05:42,892 Just read it. 797 01:05:43,860 --> 01:05:44,827 Okay. 798 01:05:48,965 --> 01:05:51,627 "As Brutus struggled to free himself from the medical pod, 799 01:05:51,735 --> 01:05:53,896 "a voice spoke to him from across the room. 800 01:05:54,237 --> 01:05:57,400 "'I'm sorry, Brutus, we had to borrow one of your gonads. 801 01:05:58,775 --> 01:06:02,768 "'We're investigating ways to strengthen the military."' 802 01:06:06,183 --> 01:06:08,777 I don't believe this. 803 01:06:18,829 --> 01:06:21,855 Benjamin, wait, we can get through this. 804 01:06:22,165 --> 01:06:25,464 Strutting into town like you're slinging a gun 805 01:06:25,569 --> 01:06:30,268 Just a small-town dude with a big-city attitude 806 01:06:30,373 --> 01:06:34,241 Honey, are you looking for some trouble tonight? 807 01:06:34,344 --> 01:06:36,369 Well, all right 808 01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:40,007 You think you're so bad, drive the women folk wild 809 01:06:40,116 --> 01:06:44,519 Shoot them all down with the flash of your pearly smile 810 01:06:44,621 --> 01:06:48,250 Honey, but you met your match tonight 811 01:06:48,358 --> 01:06:50,155 Oh, that's right 812 01:06:50,260 --> 01:06:52,160 You think you'll knock me off my feet 813 01:06:52,262 --> 01:06:53,854 Till I'm flat on the floor 814 01:06:53,964 --> 01:06:57,627 Till my heart is crying Indian and I'm begging for more 815 01:06:57,734 --> 01:07:01,431 So come on, baby Come on, baby 816 01:07:01,538 --> 01:07:03,938 Come on, baby, show me what that loaded gun is for 817 01:07:04,040 --> 01:07:05,029 Dusty? 818 01:07:08,011 --> 01:07:09,410 What are you doing here? 819 01:07:10,380 --> 01:07:12,041 I brought your wrap gift. 820 01:07:15,151 --> 01:07:16,118 Oh. 821 01:07:25,061 --> 01:07:26,619 People hated your movie. 822 01:07:27,564 --> 01:07:28,588 Some of them walked out. 823 01:07:29,199 --> 01:07:30,689 Yeah, I kind of figured that. 824 01:07:31,701 --> 01:07:34,670 And this guy said you stole the whole deal from some book. 825 01:07:34,771 --> 01:07:35,738 It's not true. 826 01:07:36,406 --> 01:07:39,102 Yeah. I hit that guy in the face. 827 01:07:40,277 --> 01:07:41,767 Then I punched Lonnie in the neck. 828 01:07:42,946 --> 01:07:44,504 Lonnie's a butthole. 829 01:07:45,448 --> 01:07:48,076 Did you hear what he did to my voice? I sound like a leprechaun. 830 01:07:49,319 --> 01:07:51,219 That's why if somebody messes with one of your stories again, 831 01:07:51,321 --> 01:07:52,618 you gotta take them out. 832 01:07:53,423 --> 01:07:54,390 'Cause you're good. 833 01:07:55,792 --> 01:07:58,317 And I'm not saying that just 'cause I'm your Guardian Angel. 834 01:08:00,797 --> 01:08:01,764 Thanks. 835 01:08:05,068 --> 01:08:07,502 Just like Jesse James 836 01:08:07,604 --> 01:08:11,631 Tonight you're gonna go down in flames 837 01:08:11,741 --> 01:08:14,107 Just like Jesse James 838 01:08:14,210 --> 01:08:18,374 Tonight you're gonna go down in flames 839 01:08:18,481 --> 01:08:24,511 Just like Jesse James 840 01:08:24,621 --> 01:08:29,251 I'm gonna shoot you down, Jesse James 841 01:08:31,194 --> 01:08:32,161 Look. 842 01:08:34,864 --> 01:08:36,297 Who's that? 843 01:08:37,634 --> 01:08:40,330 Isn't that your hero? He's in town. 844 01:08:40,804 --> 01:08:44,262 Maybe after Don Carlos, we could drop by the book signing. 845 01:08:44,674 --> 01:08:47,768 You know, Don Carlos owns the biggest nightgown company in the state, 846 01:08:47,911 --> 01:08:50,345 and he wants to see my entire line. 847 01:08:50,447 --> 01:08:52,347 I mean, this could be my big ticket. 848 01:08:53,016 --> 01:08:55,211 I feel like things are changing for us, don't you? 849 01:08:55,885 --> 01:09:00,288 And it's gotta be Dusty. He's our good luck charm. 850 01:09:00,457 --> 01:09:03,654 Come on. Come on, honey, I need your help. 851 01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:05,855 We gotta do a few loads. 852 01:09:06,963 --> 01:09:07,987 Ow. 853 01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:09,498 Get her. 854 01:09:15,472 --> 01:09:17,269 Guess this is it. 855 01:09:18,508 --> 01:09:19,998 I'm so nervous. 856 01:09:20,910 --> 01:09:23,606 I just pray that he likes my collection. 857 01:09:25,982 --> 01:09:26,949 How do I look? 858 01:09:27,651 --> 01:09:28,777 You look fine. 859 01:09:29,653 --> 01:09:30,984 Wish me luck. 860 01:10:11,061 --> 01:10:13,188 Your house is a real palace. 861 01:10:15,331 --> 01:10:16,855 Hey. I didn't see you there. 862 01:10:18,301 --> 01:10:19,791 Love your dress. 863 01:10:20,737 --> 01:10:21,704 Thank you. 864 01:10:22,439 --> 01:10:24,999 Why don't you go into my bedroom and undress to your comfort level, 865 01:10:25,108 --> 01:10:26,871 and I'll be there in a second. 866 01:10:42,992 --> 01:10:45,756 Brutus stood at the edge of the pond 867 01:10:45,862 --> 01:10:48,592 and held aloft a futuristic cylinder 868 01:10:49,065 --> 01:10:51,192 I made us a time capsule. 869 01:10:51,768 --> 01:10:54,293 I put a butt-Ioad of keepsakes in it. 870 01:10:54,404 --> 01:10:56,634 We can send it floating downstream, 871 01:10:56,840 --> 01:11:00,936 and that way, if we die, future generations will learn from us. 872 01:11:01,978 --> 01:11:03,377 Look at this. 873 01:11:03,847 --> 01:11:05,542 It's a friendship stone. 874 01:11:07,484 --> 01:11:08,678 Come closer. 875 01:11:10,787 --> 01:11:11,879 Let's blow on it. 876 01:11:13,022 --> 01:11:14,489 You blow first. 877 01:11:33,009 --> 01:11:33,976 What? 878 01:11:54,531 --> 01:11:57,432 Mom. What happened? 879 01:12:02,138 --> 01:12:04,698 He wanted me to bed down with him. 880 01:12:04,808 --> 01:12:05,775 He what? 881 01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:07,866 He said if I slept with him, 882 01:12:08,845 --> 01:12:12,975 that I could have my nightgowns in every Penney's across America. 883 01:12:18,087 --> 01:12:20,021 But I couldn't do it. 884 01:12:22,392 --> 01:12:25,691 Benjamin, no! Benjamin, no! 885 01:12:26,095 --> 01:12:30,395 Hey, Don Carlos! How about you come down here and fight me like a man! 886 01:12:30,633 --> 01:12:32,760 Benjamin, stop, get back in the car. 887 01:12:33,703 --> 01:12:35,933 Benjamin, get back in the car! 888 01:12:40,610 --> 01:12:43,841 You think you can harass my mom, you fat sack of crap? 889 01:12:44,247 --> 01:12:46,044 Come down here and fight me! 890 01:12:54,157 --> 01:12:56,853 Mom, I need you to pop open the trunk and run away from the car. 891 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:58,120 I can't. 892 01:12:58,228 --> 01:13:00,458 Just pop open the trunk and get out of here. 893 01:13:00,864 --> 01:13:02,263 No, but I can't. 894 01:13:51,381 --> 01:13:57,013 Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind 895 01:13:57,120 --> 01:14:03,116 People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time 896 01:14:14,771 --> 01:14:17,103 All day long I think of things 897 01:14:17,206 --> 01:14:18,764 But nothing seems to satisfy 898 01:14:22,612 --> 01:14:24,443 - Hello. - Hi. 899 01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:26,071 And who can I make this out to? 900 01:14:26,182 --> 01:14:27,171 Kristie. 901 01:14:27,817 --> 01:14:28,784 Kristie. 902 01:14:34,490 --> 01:14:38,688 I would just love to step inside your brain for a day and see what it's like. 903 01:14:39,495 --> 01:14:42,828 Explore its many kingdoms and learn its darkest secrets. 904 01:14:43,166 --> 01:14:47,603 Take it from someone who lives there, you might not be able to handle it. 905 01:14:48,905 --> 01:14:52,272 My mind is a landscape of mystery, of thrills. 906 01:14:52,542 --> 01:14:55,033 A place where even the bravest of travelers 907 01:14:55,178 --> 01:14:57,840 would be shaken by its geysers of original thought. 908 01:14:58,548 --> 01:14:59,606 Wow! 909 01:15:00,083 --> 01:15:01,141 Hmm. 910 01:15:01,651 --> 01:15:04,814 I know. May the gods bless you. 911 01:15:05,955 --> 01:15:11,757 And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state 912 01:15:11,861 --> 01:15:17,731 I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late 913 01:15:21,771 --> 01:15:23,363 - Hi. - Hi. 914 01:15:26,175 --> 01:15:28,370 I was wondering if you would sign this for me. 915 01:15:44,193 --> 01:15:46,058 Excuse me for a moment. 916 01:15:52,702 --> 01:15:55,500 Friends Friends 917 01:15:56,205 --> 01:16:00,335 I would like to introduce you to a dear disciple of mine 918 01:16:00,910 --> 01:16:03,640 This young man standing beside me 919 01:16:04,881 --> 01:16:06,940 loved Brutus and Balzaak so much 920 01:16:07,817 --> 01:16:14,381 that he turned it into a gripping screen adaptation called Yeastie Boys. 921 01:16:15,591 --> 01:16:17,786 As a reward for his efforts, 922 01:16:18,194 --> 01:16:22,426 Prism Publishing has decided to honor him 923 01:16:22,665 --> 01:16:26,157 with an all-expenses-paid trip 924 01:16:26,269 --> 01:16:29,500 to any one of the lower 48 states, 925 01:16:30,706 --> 01:16:37,270 And this commemorative bean-pillow, 926 01:16:37,747 --> 01:16:38,714 mini-size, 927 01:16:44,387 --> 01:16:45,820 this jacket, 928 01:16:48,458 --> 01:16:50,483 and a trip to Space Camp 929 01:16:52,028 --> 01:16:52,995 Awesome. 930 01:16:54,163 --> 01:16:56,461 Join me now in a moment of silence 931 01:16:56,566 --> 01:17:01,868 as we commemorate his contribution to science and the arts 932 01:17:19,322 --> 01:17:21,449 Put the pillow down, I beg of you. 933 01:17:21,557 --> 01:17:22,819 You stole my story. 934 01:17:23,059 --> 01:17:24,492 I don't know what you're talking about. 935 01:17:24,727 --> 01:17:27,787 All you did was change the character names and turn Bronco into a tranny. 936 01:17:27,897 --> 01:17:30,457 Shut up. I don't know what he's talking about. 937 01:17:30,566 --> 01:17:32,431 Please, someone seize him. 938 01:17:34,036 --> 01:17:35,003 Seize him. 939 01:17:35,404 --> 01:17:38,805 You're a fraud, and all your fans should know you're a fraud. 940 01:17:39,876 --> 01:17:40,843 Take him away. 941 01:17:42,712 --> 01:17:43,679 Get lost. 942 01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:47,538 But, please, show leniency. Always leniency. 943 01:17:48,518 --> 01:17:49,883 Open the gate. 944 01:17:54,157 --> 01:17:55,385 Benjamin? 945 01:17:56,626 --> 01:17:57,854 Benjamin? 946 01:17:59,595 --> 01:18:00,562 Benjamin? 947 01:18:03,132 --> 01:18:06,226 Oh, Benjamin. There you are. 948 01:18:07,136 --> 01:18:08,501 Oh, honey. 949 01:18:09,872 --> 01:18:12,170 This is a terrible place. 950 01:18:12,875 --> 01:18:15,969 Are you all right? You're not wounded, are you? 951 01:18:16,145 --> 01:18:17,112 I'm fine. 952 01:18:17,513 --> 01:18:20,448 I don't know how this all happened. I just... 953 01:18:20,716 --> 01:18:23,651 You're gonna have to spend your birthday in jail. 954 01:18:25,454 --> 01:18:27,854 Oh, honey, don't cry. I know I... 955 01:18:28,591 --> 01:18:30,320 I brought you some presents. 956 01:18:38,434 --> 01:18:41,767 Happy birthday. A popcorn car. 957 01:18:51,180 --> 01:18:53,114 Well, I can give it to you later. 958 01:19:06,028 --> 01:19:07,620 I've been registering all your stories 959 01:19:07,730 --> 01:19:10,096 with the Writers' League since you were seven. 960 01:19:19,208 --> 01:19:24,271 In the year 2525 961 01:19:24,380 --> 01:19:26,905 I thought someday you could show it to your kids. 962 01:19:27,016 --> 01:19:31,009 If man is still alive 963 01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:34,715 If woman can survive 964 01:19:34,824 --> 01:19:40,820 They may find 965 01:19:45,501 --> 01:19:48,061 "'Aroo? ' questioned Balzaak. 966 01:19:48,938 --> 01:19:53,136 "'Don't give me that, you crazy wolf,' erupted Brutus. 967 01:19:53,542 --> 01:19:57,603 "'You know why I put that in there. Perhaps they can clone me. 968 01:19:58,214 --> 01:20:00,910 "'And besides, it's always good to have a spare."' 969 01:20:02,451 --> 01:20:04,851 In the year 4545 970 01:20:04,954 --> 01:20:09,015 Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes 971 01:20:09,125 --> 01:20:10,092 Chevalier. 972 01:20:10,192 --> 01:20:12,820 You won't find a thing to chew 973 01:20:12,928 --> 01:20:16,386 Nobody's gonna look at you 974 01:20:16,499 --> 01:20:20,526 In the year 5555 975 01:20:20,636 --> 01:20:24,504 Your arms are hanging limp at your sides 976 01:20:24,607 --> 01:20:28,008 Your legs got nothing to do 977 01:20:28,110 --> 01:20:31,671 Some machine's doing that for you 978 01:20:32,214 --> 01:20:35,945 In the year 6565 979 01:20:36,052 --> 01:20:39,510 Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife 980 01:20:39,622 --> 01:20:42,716 You'll pick your son, pick your daughter, too 981 01:20:43,893 --> 01:20:48,091 From the bottom of a long glass tube, whoa-oh 982 01:20:48,197 --> 01:20:52,099 In the year 6565 983 01:20:52,201 --> 01:20:55,693 Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife 984 01:20:55,805 --> 01:20:59,764 You'll pick your son, pick your daughter, too 985 01:20:59,875 --> 01:21:02,435 From the bottom of a long glass tube, whoa-oh 986 01:21:02,545 --> 01:21:04,137 Land your stag! 987 01:21:46,622 --> 01:21:48,613 Come on, Daysius. 988 01:22:09,912 --> 01:22:12,608 For what he never knew 989 01:22:12,715 --> 01:22:15,479 Now man's reign is through 990 01:22:15,584 --> 01:22:18,075 But through the eternal night 991 01:22:18,187 --> 01:22:20,951 The twinkling of starlight 992 01:22:21,056 --> 01:22:23,684 So very far away 993 01:22:23,793 --> 01:22:26,921 Maybe it's only yesterday 994 01:22:28,230 --> 01:22:32,360 In the year 2525 995 01:22:32,468 --> 01:22:35,130 If man is still alive 996 01:22:46,615 --> 01:22:47,582 Yeah. 997 01:22:52,688 --> 01:22:54,121 Oh, my gosh. 998 01:22:55,791 --> 01:22:57,691 Benjamin, you are so talented. 999 01:22:58,961 --> 01:23:00,428 This is amazing. 1000 01:23:01,697 --> 01:23:03,028 So are you, Mom. 1001 01:23:04,700 --> 01:23:06,167 What's this? 1002 01:23:13,075 --> 01:23:14,042 I love you. 1003 01:24:44,633 --> 01:24:47,431 Carry on my wayward son 1004 01:24:47,536 --> 01:24:51,597 There'll be peace when you are done 1005 01:24:51,707 --> 01:24:55,575 Lay your weary head to rest 1006 01:24:55,678 --> 01:24:58,772 Don't you cry no more 1007 01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:55,234 Once I rose above the noise and confusion 1008 01:25:55,337 --> 01:25:59,296 Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion 1009 01:25:59,408 --> 01:26:03,310 I was soaring ever higher 1010 01:26:03,412 --> 01:26:06,472 But I flew too high 1011 01:26:07,216 --> 01:26:11,084 Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man 1012 01:26:11,186 --> 01:26:14,451 Though my mind could think I still was a madman 1013 01:26:14,556 --> 01:26:18,583 I hear the voices when I'm dreaming 1014 01:26:18,694 --> 01:26:22,221 I can hear them say 1015 01:26:22,331 --> 01:26:26,097 Carry on my wayward son 1016 01:26:26,201 --> 01:26:29,830 There'll be peace when you are done 1017 01:26:29,938 --> 01:26:33,635 Lay your weary head to rest 1018 01:26:33,742 --> 01:26:36,540 Don't you cry no more 1019 01:26:47,122 --> 01:26:50,649 Masquerading as a man with a reason 1020 01:26:50,759 --> 01:26:54,286 My charade is the event of the season 1021 01:26:54,396 --> 01:26:57,957 And if I claim to be a wise man 1022 01:26:58,067 --> 01:27:02,003 It surely means that I don't know 1023 01:27:02,104 --> 01:27:05,870 On a stormy sea of moving emotion 1024 01:27:05,974 --> 01:27:09,410 Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean 1025 01:27:09,511 --> 01:27:13,311 I set a course for winds of fortune 1026 01:27:13,415 --> 01:27:16,077 But I hear the voices say 1027 01:27:17,152 --> 01:27:20,781 Carry on my wayward son 1028 01:27:20,889 --> 01:27:24,484 There'll be peace when you are done 1029 01:27:24,593 --> 01:27:28,188 Lay your weary head to rest 1030 01:27:28,297 --> 01:27:30,663 - Don't you cry no more - No! 1031 01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:00,111 (MOANING) Oh, yeah. 1032 01:29:07,963 --> 01:29:08,930 ripped by looxlike